when are you going to updat

I took the liberty of doing a proofread/editing pass as I was playing through Mackenzie's Season 1 route in Havenfall. I wanted to share what I found with those working on the project, and I hope it is of assistance to your efforts. I've broken it up into the individual episodes for easier reference.

mac_season1_episode1.rpy

LINE 426: Missing a close parenthesis at the end of the sentence.

~~~

mac_season1_episode2.rpy

LINES 65-67, 305, 328-335, 545-547: The blinking animation for Mackenzie very briefly flashes a red error message on the screen. The issue seems to be happening with the up-close, zoomed-in views for her character sprite art in various outfits and expressions.

LINE 268: Says "angles" but probably meant "dangles"

LINE 417: Left out the word "on" at the end of the sentence.

LINE 537: Left out the word "on" after "going"

~~~

mac_season1_episode3.rpy

LINES 44-61, 182-185, 467-468, 483-485, 538-572: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

LINE 496: Shows MC's name when it should be Mackenzie's line.

LINE 520: Missing a close parenthesis at the end of the sentence.

LINE 571: NameError: name 'hiflRsuspense' is not defined (error message appears for playing the audio track. The ignore option allows the story to successfully continue.)

LINE 617: Missing a close parenthesis at the end of the sentence.

LINE 689: The same red error message issue with Mackenzie's character sprite, but it also applies to Damien's in the close-up view here as well.

~~~

mac_season1_episode4.rpy

LINE 122: "eye" should probably be "eyes" instead.

LINES 163-164, 171-173, 181-187, 673-689: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

LINE 380: Either it's a pop culture or slang reference I don't recognize, or else "freakingpromise out" is simply an error that should read "freaking out" instead.

~~~

mac_season1_episode5.rpy

LINE 42: It says "bowling early" but it seems like "bowling alley" was the intended word instead.

LINE 103: You're probably well aware of this one already, but the text "MISSING CHOICE" is displayed as a placeholder, rather than the part of the conversation that would normally appear after choosing the "Nothing's sunk in yet" response.

LINES 226-228: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

LINE 228: This line says "force" but should be "forced" instead.

LINE 290: It says "family's" but should just be "family" instead.

LINE 300: A typo of the word "anything" here has it with an extra letter H.

LINE 318: Two corrections to make here. "Brew" should be "brews" and there's an extra letter M after "expression" to be removed.

LINE 351: "Trun" should be "turn" instead.

LINE 358: "Track" makes more sense as "tracks" here.

LINE 424: "Lak" should be "Lake" instead.

LINE 467: "Mind" should be "mine" here instead.

LINE 485: Two fixes here. "We" should be "he" presumably referencing Damien. "Shot" should be "short" instead.

LINE 490: "Nap" should be "nape" here.

LINES 490-496: The same red error message issue with Mackenzie's character sprite, but it also applies to Annabelle's in the close-up view here as well.

LINES 549-559: I'm not sure if this is an error or not, but during the transition from the CG art to the sprite art w/background that takes place during these lines, you can see the transparent background grey checkerboard briefly, rather than the usual fade-to-black transition effect.

~~~

mac_season1_episode6.rpy

LINE 45: "Bnares" should be "bares" instead.

LINE 196: "Should" needs to be "shoulder" here instead.

LINES 196-397: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

LINE 478: The second instance of the word "first" should be "fist" here instead. This line might also benefit from changing "First thing I thought it was a bird" to something like "First thing I thought was that it was a bird" or simply "At first I thought it was a bird" instead.

LINE 493: "Bit" should be "but" instead.

LINE 596: "Beard" should be "bears" instead.

~~~

mac_season1_episode7.rpy

LINES 54-56, 64-149: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

LINE 196: Typo of the second instance of the word "phone" here.

LINE 289: "Lay's" here should be "lays" instead.

LINE 337: I'm not certain about this one, but I believe "internet" was intended to say "interest" here instead. Unless Annabelle hates cafe wifi or something.

~~~

mac_season1_episode8.rpy

LINE 60: "your's" should be "yours" here instead.

LINE 94: "womans's" should just be "woman's" in this case.

LINE 250: "out" should be "our" instead.

LINE 365: This line should probably end with a comma rather than a period, since the sentence continues directly in the next line. That seems to be the precedent elsewhere for handling this sort of situation, at least as far as I can tell.

LINES 726-785: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

~~~

mac_season1_episode9.rpy

LINE 38: This may not be an error, but here Razi simply says: "Syd?" which... I'm not sure what that is in reference to. My guess is, it was another character he was expecting instead who just doesn't show up elsewhere in this route, creating a disconnect? It's possible it could be in error and meant to say something else, so I thought I should mention it just in case.

LINE 410: The image of Mackenzie does not appear here like expected for her line. I think it's because the "at left4" part of her show image is absent.

LINE 569: The word "but" has a typo here.

LINE 607: "Thing" should be "thin" here instead.

LINE 611: Typo of the word "bother" in this line.

LINE 617: Either "turns" should be "turned" or "pressed" should be "presses" for the correct phrasing of this line.

LINE 768, 773-774: The same red error message issue as noted for Damien's zoomed-in sprite animation. The werewolf one that follows does not have the error for his neutral expression, but the one after that for his smirking face also has the issue.

~~~

mac_season1_episode10.rpy

LINE 97: Either "pulls" should be "pulled" or "locked" should be "locks" here.

LINE 198: This line should read something like "hand [genericfn] over" or "hand you [genericfn]" instead.

LINE 232: Typo of the word "column" here.

LINES 468-537: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

~~~

mac_season1_episode11.rpy

LINE 321: If I'm not mistaken, "would" should probably be "wouldn't" here instead.

LINES 367-394, 545-605: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

LINE 588: A placeholder "DIALOG MISSING" line here for this response. Again you probably are already aware of such things, as they seem to be deliberately added lines, but no harm in mentioning it just in case.

LINES 746-788: The same red error message issue appears also for Diego's zoomed-in sprite view without his glasses.

~~~

mac_season1_episode12.rpy

LINE 62: Pretty sure "cooled" here should be "coiled" instead.

LINES 77, 216, 295-305, 400-447: The same red error message issue as noted for Season 1 Episode 2.

LINE 118: The word "Does" should be replaced with "She's" instead here.

LINE 178: This line has "hard enough the entire" and it seems it should read "hard enough that the entire" or similar instead.

LINE 240: Left out a period at the end of this line.

LINE 260: "Park" should be "pack" instead.

LINE 267: The last word in this line, "air" ends up on a 3rd row, cut off from view. It could either be broken up into two separate lines at the comma, or a slight rewrite could fix it as well by making the comma into a period, and changing the word "cutting" to "cuts" and it should barely fit on 2 rows instead of requiring a 3rd.

LINE 382: The "drilling" in this line probably meant to say "dripping" or "brimming" or something similar instead.

LINE 453: "Creeks" should be "creaks" here instead.

LINE 455: Perhaps not 100% necessary, but it would probably read slightly better with a comma after "angry".

LINE 457: "Shatter" should be "shatters" instead for this line.

LINE 504: "Off" should either be "of" intsead, or it could also be "from" and still make sense too. Line 576 seems to suggest her cheek got cut a little bit, but only that she is just becoming aware of that fact at that point, rather than this earlier moment here.

LINE 550: "Solids" should be "solid" instead, and "this" should probably be "hit" or "sound" or something similar.

LINE 565: "New" should be "knee" instead.

LINE 570: "Fine on" doesn't make sense to me. It seems like it should be "Hold on" instead, perhaps?

LINE 722: There's an extra space before the second comma that isn't needed.

LINE 856: The last part of this line is "vanishing as green eyes anew." and it would read better with something like "vanishing as green eyes return anew." or a similar addition.

LINE 908: "Everyone" should be "everyone's" instead here.

hope you plan to get all of it

Less go!!!

nice